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Mykola Zharkikh (Kyiv)

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Paralysis

Nicholas Zharkikh

etude of "perestroika" epoch

Dedicated to Valentin Rasputin

Kyiv 1989

Aventure 1. How Vasil Bevz became chairman of collective farm

Vasil Bevz was assistant professor of economics in Poltava Agricultural Institute. But one day, vice satrap of Poltava satrapy Jeremiah Kryvonis invite him…

Aventure 2. How Vasily Bevz visited RAPRT

Received appointment as chairman of collective farm "The way to victory", Vasily Pavlovich Bevz visited RAPRT. But there he gave no revolver…

Aventure 3. How Vasyl Bevz nominate uncle Myron as collective farm watchman

Vasil Bevz held its first meeting in the collective farm, where he announced his order. At the next meetings he was appointed uncle Myron as collective farm watchman…

Aventure 4. The historical situation at the time of appointment uncle Myron as collective farm watchman

Vasily Bevz gets newspaper "Herald Poltava satrapy", from which finds that the collective farm chairman is still other duties apart from holding meetings…

Aventure 5. Uncle Myron role in combating against wasting working time

Vasily Bevz adopt resolutions against wasting of the working time and entrust the duty to perform it to uncle Myron …

Aventure 6. About new dress of Nadijka

Nadia Bezpalko instead to go to beets on Sunday, leaving – despite the resolution!

Aventure 7. About Stepan's wedding

Stepan Baydebura take collective farm tractor and goes on – despite the resolution! – to Hradyzk to marry…

Aventure 8. About the effects of Stepan's weaning

Vasily Bevz reveals that Stepan wasted five working days, and going to reeducar his…

Aventure 9. About Paul Hnatenko's market garden

After fail with reeducaring Baydebura, Vasily Pavlovich Bevz began reeducar evil individualist Paul S. Hnatenko…

Aventure 10. Results of struggle against the theft of working time

Results of fighting against the theft of working time were disappointing. There were much of stirs and offencies, and very little improvements and ordering…

Aventure 11. How Vasyl Bevz reported in Poltava

Vasily Bevz reported in Poltava in the first season of his presidency and all boasted that he have the help from uncle Myron in any work…

Aventure 12. First attempt of the reforms

In Poltava agreed to consolidate little collective farms to large ones and Vasyl Bevz was appointed a new head. The only thing to do was introduce this consolidation in life, but it was prevented by slush…

Aventure 13. Reforms

Vasily Bevz with Uncle Myron work out lustration and find that almost all the property of small collective farms plundered…

Aventure 14. Case of missing hams

Vasily Pavlovich Bevz quite unexpectedly discovers that his uncle Myron writes… stealings by Bevz.

Aventure 15. Struggle against the theft of collective farm land

To distract the attention of Uncle Myron, Vasily Pavlovich Bevz raised the struggle against the theft of collective farm land. And Uncle Myron discovers that part of the collective farms is occupied by some "object…"

Aventure 16. The first effects of anti theft collective farm land campaign

The fight for the protection of collective farm property gradually began to outgrow the fight against Uncle Myron. Here, Vasily Pavlovich Bevz ventured to write on it… a denunciation.

Aventure 17. Results of the anti theft collective farm land campaign

As a result of denunciation check Vasily Pavlovich Bevz was appointed for professor of Poltava Agricultural Institute, and Uncle Myron came under court that fully justified him…

Aventure 18. Electromagnetic lock

New collective farm chairman A.M. Tovstovoytenko afraid Uncle Myron. The chairman decided to protect the collective farm chamber instead guard by an electromagnetic lock with numerical control…

Aventure 19. Fighting with a lock

But the door suddenly closed at the moment when the power was not connected and the collective farm appeared tightly locked storeroom…

Aventure 20. Some results of scientific and technological progress

Yasaul Dovhopol knocked door using dynamite checkers. Andrew Nikitich Tovstovoytenko understood that although the roots of scientific progress sweet, fruits of it (as reforms) may be bitter…

Aventure 21. Mice

When Uncle Myron and commission entered into an open barn, it found that the collective farm property seized during that time… by mice.

Aventure 22. Fighting mice

Fighting mice had no success until the moment when Uncle Myron suggested paradoxical step: open barn for thieves, so they opposed mice…

Aventure 23. Commission on verifying Uncle Myron

The consequence of a letter that Uncle Myron wrote to the newspaper, was appointed committee for examination of his activity…

Aventure 24. Case of missing TV

The Commission, in their grief, found that all the stealing, which was described by Uncle Myron, occurred. Worse – attempt to preventing theft of TV, of which warned uncle Myron, has been a failure…

Aventure 25. Implications of the Uncle Myron's letter

Now it all satrap's board tried to figure out how to neutralize Uncle Myron, because his straightforwardness in the fight against thieves became all interfere…

Aventure 26. New watchtower

If Uncle Myron's dream will be fulfilled and stealing really stopped, the life in Poltava satrapy would completely stopped…

Aventure 27. Undefined flying objects

From his new watchtower uncle Myron watched arrival and departure of the unrecognized aircraft. And attempt to bring it down by antiaircraft missiles…

Aventure 28. Fighting unidentified objects

While one can not stop flying by the power, we must resort to tricks…

Aventure 29. Results of struggle against unidentified objects

The consequence of these tricks was not authorized by any superiors acquaintance of Nadia Bezpalko with the inhabitants of west-Switzerland town Geneva…

Aventure 30. End of Uncle Myron

Thieves! All thieves! And everywhere thieves! From whom guarding? From thieves! Fot whom guarded? For other thieves! – quietly but surely cut Uncle Myron…

Full text in ukrainian.